Monday, November 11, 2013

Picking myself up

A bad news have been broke to me, and it fucked me up for an entire day.  But this blog entry isn't really about that.  It's about something else.  When this news was broke to me, I was utterly crushed.  Things have changed rapidly in a week's time, and many doors that were once open were open no more.  Things were looking grim.  

I don't know what kind of impression I have on people, but ever since my best friend have told me that I am an insufferable cunt several years ago, I had strove to change my ways.  Years have passed since then, and I'd like to think I've made progress to becoming a better human being.  When these greatly disappointing events happened to me, it made me question a lot about myself.  Had I been living an unfaithful life.  Am I a walking contradiction, still the dumbass I was 8 years ago?  Am I just not the person whom I thought I was?  Maybe I'm not good enough and I never will be.  Am I ultimately the issue?  The insecurities started to chip away...  

My friends are supportive however, and regardless of outcome of this venture, I am infinitely grateful for their support and love.  I was initially very sad, but not anymore.  I'm a lucky man, to have friends like these.  Treat yourself as you treat others, I had heard.  Whatever happens, I will keep true to myself and to those who have faith in me, and strive for greatness no matter the situation.

The situation still remain pretty shitty, but I am hopeful once more and recharged.  Bring on the morrow, and the infinite cringe when I read this later in my life.  But I will never forget the morning of November 12th, 2013.


  1. It can be very hard hitting as you said, yet it's always important to keep looking forward and sometimes it's just something you have to take and deal with even if it may or may not be your "fault".
    In a general sense it's also about progress in growth, and I'm certain these experiences have helped you greatly one way or another to become a better person as a whole. Never be afraid to depend on your friends either, that's why they're there.

    Good luck on your future ventures, and I hope you continue to strive for success and to reach your own goals! Maybe one day..

    Keep going strong!

  2. Thanks, stranger on the Internet.