Monday, February 13, 2017

Internet problems

So no one cares about others' and their mundane problems in life, especially on a platform like Twitter.  So I'll take it to my personal blog where I can cry about mundane shit in peace.

If anyone has ever seen me streaming, they'd understand that I have a high tolerance for stress.  But Internet issues are exceptionally stressful because it puts a near stop to everything in my life.  Since most of my time is spent on dota, when I experience net issues, it's usually in a middle of a game.  Which sucks.

That being said, all this I can handle, what really gets me is the steps to fixing these problems; the dreaded tech support.

Canada is a big land mass with little competition (naturally).  Services suck.  A lot.  I pay nearly $100/mo for my services, and double that to the same company if you consider our family business.  And they don't give a fuck.  I can't even switch because the competitor who is if not a bigger crook offers 5Mbps/500kb for 70 dollars.  Fucking.  Kill me.

This one time, I had packet loss issues but I got the speed I was promised 50Mbps/10Mbps.  The tech assured me that there's nothing he can do to help my packet loss issues and urged me to hang up.  He condescendingly made me repeat the speed I'm getting, then said that's the speed they've promised to deliver, and they have delivered it.  Therefore, there's nothing more he can do for me, and urged me to hang up.  Okay cunt.

This other time, I'm getting DL speed of anywhere between 10Mbps to 70Mbps (which is gracious, but hardly matter since it's fluctuating hard), and upload at steady 4Mbps.  I'm more sensitive to my upload since I stream and it makes my daily life easier with uploading clips to share with friends.  So I call again.  Tech checks the signal, and said it looks fine, and suggests to reset modem.  Nothing changes.  The tech then repeats how their signals look good, and that problem must be on my end which is a little intellectually insulting, but okay, maybe it is.  They then refer me to a third party service (which isn't free) that does PC clean up service.  I asked if they find nothing, and the problem persists, shall I call back to get more help.

Reasonable, no?  This is where things get even more crazy.

The tech only says the signals look good, and strongly implies that the problem is out of their hands but does not say that.  He only mentions that signals look good, repeatedly (lol????).  I pressed on, that it's only reasonable that if I go through all the troubleshooting steps, and I still don't get the quality of service as promised, that Cogeco is responsible, and should help me.  Besides, do they make up the reasons to not help me as they go?  The guy before said I'm getting the speed I'm promised despite packet losses and the issue was out of their hands.  This guy now says my signals are fine though my speed aren't, and implies that the problem is also out of their hands.  Where's the consistency.

No way I'm going to spend a dime on this shady service intended for clueless 70y/o, if it isn't the only reason to get through a troubleshooting step so they can actually help me.  But no.  No confirmation on extra help after confirming that my PC would be clean.

I ended up hanging up because it reached a point where I'm like, "hey, can you guys help me after confirming that my PC is clean?" and he just kept saying, "signals look good".  Which is a euphemism for, "fuck off and die".

Mind you, I'm never tasteless when I'm on the phone with a tech.  I totally get that this is just a job for them and that it's unfair for me to yell at them so I don't.  I treat them fairly as a fellow human being and I expect the same.  Apparently, the same standards are not upheld by Cogeco, where I'm patronized like some fucktard who unironically say interwebs and prefer using windows XP and IE6 because "i like it better".  I should start recording some of these calls, because the conversation we have is absolutely insane.  It's so nonsensical, it feels like fiction, Alice in Wonderland type of shit.  As I write this, I'm still not getting full speed.  And as I write this, my ShareX has failed to upload the fucking GIF I wished to share with my friends.

Ever since being a child, I had never wished to be rich and famous.  But I do now.  Oh so badly.  Just so that I can fix my fucking Internet problem.

1 comment:

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