Friday, June 13, 2014

mothafuckin junglers in my mothafukin games

I wish I had the skills to fucking parse it, but I'm willing to bet my winrate is really low when I have junglers in my games.  Especially if it's junglers that spend a considerable amount of time in jungle being useless for 15min.  From terribly executed jungle Batriders to Legion Commanders, Axes, Dooms and Furions, these motherfuckers are the game-losiest shit ever.  That is of course, unless the opposing team also has an asshole on their team doing the same useless crap on their team which cancels each other out (oh god..).  

And like, the people who pick these junglers are such selfish cunts too.  People get into the game, sort of sit around for the entire picking phase not knowing what to play, and find that all the core slots are taken but they don't want to play support because fuck the notion of playing a support.  They still want to play a core, so what choice do they have but a jungle core.

Any amount of do-shit will make the game ridiculously hard for no reason too, and the list is fucking massive.   If they gank, contests your jungler and kicks his ass, if your safelane dual gets rolled for whatever reason (gets Phoenix'd or gets aggro tri'd with something ridiculously strong), runs a safelane tri which rolls your offlane and/or takes towers.  Any of these shit, and more will make the game infinitely harder because you have limited resources (ie. # OF PLAYERS BEING FUCKIN USEFUL) to deal with any kind of shit they're throwing at you.  

Then you factor in heroes like Naga, where the only way to really deal with this hero is to apply pressure in the early-mid game phase, which isn't going to fuckin happen because again, it's 4v5.  Then your list of conditions for a hard fuckin game gets larger and larger.

I don't even like how the current ranked system work.  It should be more like LoL, where it's a drafting phase (even if it's AP).  This way, the game naturally allows (or force) the players to plan out the picks and lanes.  Because right now, the game is leaving everything at the integrity of players for figuring shit out, and this shit's just not working.  

Picking fast has no merits since it leaves you wide open for being counterpicked, so naturally, no one wants to do that.  To communicate where people are going with what heroes is a complete crapshoot, since some are just not open to the idea of communication, which I gotta say gets worse and worse as your rating goes up since people develop 2kool4u ego.  So then at last second people panic pick heroes, then a pause, because not everyone has picked yet, and the fifth guy randoms to compensate for lost gold and oh my god all of this shit is so ass fuckin fix it please.

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